The other day, someone quite close to me (but much older) “unfriended” me from their Facebook account. I noticed only a couple of days later when I realized that I wasn’t getting any of their updates anymore. Of course, the second I discovered what had happened, I got incredibly upset - in fact, I burst into tears.

A 21 year old is admitting openly ON THE INTERNET that a virtual “defriending” led to actual flowing streams of tears (which, since I have been about 10, don’t regularly make an appearance unless an SRK film is involved or someone is stealing my Zinger burger).

I’d like to believe I’m an adult (legally, there’s no two ways about it) with priorities. I am fully aware that what happens on Facebook may not be a direct reflection of real life. I suppose this is what the person who “unfriended” me felt, as well. Perhaps my updates were not something they cared for. So they decided it was just best to cleanse their Facebook feed of me. Fair enough, perfectly sensible thing to do.

However, when I think about my initial reaction, I DID actually react like someone who’s a part of the Facebook generation. I created my Facebook account on 30 Jan 2007, roughly four months after it was opened to anyone who was 13 years or older, with a valid email address. I’ve dealt with issues in real life that were created because of what happened on Facebook, or have been resolved through interactions on Facebook. I’ve connected with classmates, teachers and colleagues on Facebook. Soon after a party, or an event, it’s perfectly natural for me to expect pictures to be up on Facebook. I comment regularly on people’s pictures, posts or other Facebook-related activity. I occasionally “check-in” to places, so on and so forth.

So yes, it’s a pretty big deal when someone “unfriends” me on Facebook (without warning) because I understand how social networking sites are meant to function and perhaps I mistakenly believe that other people understand them to. There are privacy controls for a reason. There’s the concept of a limited profile for a reason. When someone decides that my updates are not of interest to them, I suppose it is perfectly reasonable for them to do what this person did.

Claiming that I was being given the right to my privacy, however, is not a decision anybody gets to make for me.  If I was worried about what I share with you, that’s my problem. You are perfectly within your rights to mute or filter my updates out. However the action of “unfriending” (without warning) is vindictive, no matter which way you look at it. My view is : if you are not comfortable with that concept, then maybe you shouldn’t be on on social networking site in the first place.

What do you think?

Edit: I think I really need to add that this “unfriending” was done after a fight, quite obviously making it intentional and nasty from where I’m standing. However, the person still maintains that they are not being vindictive - that by “unfriending”, they are only trying to show that they respect my privacy. This is the part I’m not buying.