Fill in the blank

I feel like a card board cut-out. Two dimensional.

Of who, I don’t know. Myself maybe. I’m tired, so tired every moment. And before you say “It’s because you don’t eat breakfast” no, not that kind of tired. I find myself running from class to class, lecture to lecture, womenwomenwomenwomenwomenwomen all around. My legs just carry me around without me knowing where I am going, just that I have to be someplace. Like I’m on auto-pilot.

Exactly a month ago, I started college. And I just realized that I was probably holding my breath this whole time wondering if someone was going to stop me and say ‘ok time to get back to real life now’ . And then whoosh I would find myself back at school, back in the corridors, back with my school friends and back with the familiar faces all around me.

Do I still want that? Familiar has a new meaning now. Familiar is now brown and cream. Familiar now is the college song, the canteen, the sloping driveways, the notice boards, the three flights of stairs I have to walk to psychology class. Familiar is the wooden benches, the comfort of the studio. Familiar now is ma’am.

I looked at a picture today, and I miss it all. I miss knowing I’d find a seat on the bus. I miss knowing that the bus would arrive on time. I miss knowing that I didn’t have keep track of which stop, that I could sit wherever I pleased. I miss knowing attendance would be taken only twice a day, and not six times. I miss being able to walk into the library any time I wanted to, and borrow anything I liked.

But I’m not holding my breath anymore. Faces are blurry. Schedules are fuzzy. Voices are faint.

I’m in the grey space. The ‘adjusting period’. There’s an explanation to everything.

I’m currently reading a book called “Everyone Worth Knowing” by Lauren Weisberger, the author of “The Devil Wears Prada“. I’m taking an unusually long amount of time to read it, because of time constraint. I really don’t know where all my time goes, now! It’s my worst nightmare : I settle down in bed, snuggle under the covers and open a perfectly interesting book to read ( romance + fashion + drama + whatever) and the next thing I know, my eyelids are shutting. And this from the girl who can proudly admit that she read each of the fatter Harry Potter books in a day!

Anyway the point of the whole post is the Birkin bag. I first came across it ( or mention of it) in “Everyone Worth Knowing” where one fashion-obsessed creature explains its exclusivity to the lead character, Bette Robinson. Now, while reading one of Nora Ephron’s essays, I came across the Birkin again:

“—never mind that top-of-the-line thing called a Birkin bag that costs ten thousand dollars, not that it’s relevant because you can’t even get on the waiting list for one. On the waiting list! For a purse! For a ten-thousand-dollar purse that will end up full of old Tic Tacs!”

- an excerpt from Nora Ephron’s essay “I Hate My Purse”

So the geek in me decided to wiki-search the damn thing to see what all the fuss was about. I apologize if I am indeed the last person to know about this thing, but may I present to you:

The Birkin bag

The above picture is of a red Hermès Birkin. I picked this one because I liked it out of all the other picures I saw. Anyway, a Birkin is an extremely exclusive fashion accessory, that sells at a minimum price of $7500 and according to Wikipedia, can go all the way up to 5 or 6 digit price depending of the material it’s made from. “Allegedly, the waiting list for a Birkin is over two years. In practice, however, many stores have a “call list” and an “order list”, both usually consisting of clients who have in one way or another become “regulars” or have formed a relationship with a particular Sales Associate.” (from here)

Famous clientele include : Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss, Carla Bruni, Demi Moore

Wow. Talk about materialism!

Give in, go on. Don’t be scared - it’s not going anywhere. Run, as far as you can. And stop. The feeling, it’s still there right?

See. I told you.

Not convinced yet? Ok try this.Hold your breath. No, really hold your breath. Until you think your lungs are going to burst out of your rib cage. Until you think, no actually feel, your face going blue. Now breathe. Did it go anywhere? It didn’t!

Face it. It’s here to stay.

(You can wipe that silly grin off your face now)

Years ago, when I was about 6 or 7, my dad had a dream that I had grown up, and  was shaking him awake demanding the keys to the car ( which we had just bought that year). What made the experience surreal was that at that precise moment, I was in fact actually shaking him awake, asking for the keys! I remember the expression on his face, a sort of confused look which later he explained as being one of those how-the-hell-did-time-go-by-so-quickly looks. Then the live me informed him that I simply wanted the tape that was in the tape deck of the car, and therefore, required the keys!

As of today, I am officially licensed to drive a 4-wheeler LMV anywhere in India. So all I have to say (again) is: Daddy, give me the car keys!

Yesterday, someone told me that someone told them to always watch a movie twice. The first time to just enjoy it, and the second time for analytical purposes.

I watched Citizen Kane (for the first time) this evening. I had no idea what it was about, and I didn’t even look it up on IMDB or Wikipedia. All I knew was that it has been much talked about over the years, and very highly rated by most movie critics. I’m still deciding if I liked it or not!

Warning: Spoiler(s) ahead so if you haven’t watched it and you want to, don’t go any further!

All I can say right now that the film depicts people as people are. The character I really loved was Kane’s second wife in the film, Susan Alexander Kane. I especially loved this particular line of hers :

“I didn’t want to sing. It was his idea - everything was his idea - except my leaving him.”

The depiction of how totally alone and crazy Kane gets after his second wife leaves him is amazing in that one particular scene where he destroys all her remaining possessions in her room with his bare hands. This is almost symbolic of his own destruction and downfall, which he caused himself.

Maybe I’ll watch it a second time!

Sitting in my dad’s cubicle, in the chair behind his desk. I feel like those little children who, when they visit their dad’s office, yearn to grow up quickly and become “adults”. I should add that I just visited school to pick up my marks card and my transfer certificate, and am now officially a college girl.

You really can’t please everyone, can you?

So, my results came out some time ago. I did pretty ok my two best subjects being Literature and Political Science , and that seems fitting enough since they are the ones I enjoy the most ! I’m happy I decided to continue with Literature in college, but only time will tell if I’ll be any good at it at the degree level. And lets just say, I made the right decision in not continuing with history

I am loving the weather here! I made a post a while ago complaining about the heat and voila! Rain!

I switched to the Advanced Mode on my EEEPC ,and it’s so much better! Customizing my desktop has become so much simpler! Since I still have some time left on my hands, lets see what I can do to personalize this thing more..

I’ve been shopping so much in the past two weeks ! And mostly shoe shopping I bought three pairs of “rocksters” ( yes I know everyones been buying those but they are so pretty!) in black, silver and PINK. Well see normally I’m the kind of girl who does her homework in advance when it comes to buying what she wants - which means I ask around, who got the best price from where etc and then I just go to that one store and pick up whatever it is I wanted. Of course, this method applies to only when I KNOW what I want, as opposed to “I’m bored ..wheee lets go shopping !” For the record that happens about in once in 18 years. Seriously. I mean it.

Ok coming back to the pink rocksters - well they were too pretty to resist. I’d originally planned to buy them in functional colours i.e black and silver but the second I laid my eyes on those pink ones hanging in that little galli-shop off Commercial Street (which is where you get them, for those interested) I knew I had to have them ! Now I just have to find something to wear them with - ah, the difficulties of life !

I also bought my first pair of All-Star Converse shoes in navy blue. I kept meaning to buy them over the last two years, and I never got around to doing so! Except they give me a horrible shoe bite, so I’ll have to find some way of getting past that.

If you’re tearing your hair out after reading about my shoe shopping.. When Geetanjali Chitnis goes shopping ( especially on Brigade Road) there is always a trip to a bookstore involved! And this time, to three bookstores. Crossword was my first destination - I wanted to pick up a journal in handmade paper (top secret purposes) and I wanted to pick up a copy of Emma and Persuasion. But then I ran through most of my ‘finances’ buying pretty stationary, so I had to settle on choosing between one of the books. And I wanted Persuasion more than I wanted Emma. But as my luck would have it, Crossword had Persuasion only in a combination with Northanger Abbey, which I already own. So that led to trips to The Bookworm (which also didn’t have Persuasion) and finally, Blossom’s (which did). So yay, now I have Persuasion, the last of Jane Austen’s completed works to be published !

The beauty of second hand books is the inscriptions you sometimes find on the inside of the book jacket There was one on the inside of the copy of Persuasion, from a daughter to her mother. The inscription is dated ‘Xmas 1987′ - three years before I was born! I don’t know, I just love knowing that books have their own stories - apart from the one that is printed inside them.

Oh and I forgot to mention - somewhere in between the shopping was a stop at (where else ?) KFC!

Mr. Darcy: You must know… surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I’d scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes have not changed, but one word from you will silence me forever. If, however, your feelings have changed, I will have to tell you: you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.